Countdown Proper

So with 24 (ish) hours to go the count down has definitely started for England’s 6 Nations campaign and that tingly feeling of nervous anticipation is sitting firmly in the belly. England will have been boosted by Gethin Jenkins suffering a last minute calf strain but typically we now have to suffer an injury blow ourselves. Flutey is out with a dead leg.

A DEAD FUCKING LEG!!!!

Now I’ve played a lot of rugby in my time and received countless dead legs, some more serious than others and generally pretty painful I grant you. But on the whole they don’t put you out of fucking action.

I appreciate the level of rugby that Flutey is playing is slightly – only slightly mind – higher than my own, but he didn’t get hurt in a contact session. This happened during a non-contact drill. How bad could it have been? This raises the question of whether professional rugby players are too wrapped in cotton wool?

At any rate we now have the ex-Newcastle backline of Wilkinson, Flood, Tait. Be in no doubt that Jamie Roberts will be chomping at the bit to take the ball flat and smash the 12 channel. Flood has to absorb this pressure and not rely on Wilko to do all the defending.

Even with Flutey out I’m beginning to grow in confidence for an England win tomorrow. It won’t be by much but a win is a win. It’s about time England started turning Twickenham back into the fortress it once was.

Prediction Time

Time to get my predictions hat on ahead of this weekend’s international action.

England Vs Australia

I’ll be honest, I’m worried. My heart is saying “We can do it. We’re fielding a team of substitutes but it’ll be fine - they’ll step up. The boys will play the game of their lives and bring more passion to Twickenham than Berlusconi on twelve Viagra at the Playboy bloody mansion.” But my head is telling my heart “Fuck right off mate, we’ve got more chance of finding Abu Hamza reading the bible in a glove shop”.

I’m afraid, dear friends, that England will have their arses handed to them.

Australia will win by 15.

Wales Vs New Zealand

Let’s pray there is another post haka front up. Wales will be all out gunning for the ABs this year and I reckon there is a chance they could do it. But they won’t.

New Zealand will win by 3.

Count down to Twickenham

Not exactly flush with possibilities, are we? With Tindall and Blaze now on the England bonfire the tally of unavailable players comes to 76 props, 13 locks, 24.5 back row and 37 backs.

It’s a miracle yours truly hasn’t been called up yet.

But I suppose every cloud has a silver lining. The one “good” thing to come out of the injury pile up is the righting of the madness that saw Nick Kennedy being left out of the squad completely. Thankfully he’s back in the mix and to my mind should be one of the first names on Jonno’s team sheet.

The key concern is obviously up front. The Aussies aren’t the scrummaging joke they once were, the Pumas are probably the most feared pack in world rugby and the All Blacks are, well, despite not having a functioning line-out, the All Blacks.

England will have to front up big time if we’re to match any of the tourists at the set piece. And as much as it pains me to say it, it looks likely we’ll have an all Leicester back row. Steffon Armitage is a great player, but Lewis Moody is a lunatic and we’ll need his combination of lunacy and experience at the back of the scrums and at the breakdown.

For me the backs pick themselves. The only toss up is between Foden and Cueto at fullback. Foden can be dodgy under the highball but has the magic England need at the moment while Cueto is tried, tested, solid and in form.

One thing is certain, England are going to be hard pressed to win these autumn games but there is reason to be cheerful. The Messiah is back and there are a few players in the mix who may yet do enough of the business to give the nation a collective hard on. Here is my line up for the 7th (assuming I have to put Borthwick in as captain):

1. Tim Payne
2. Dylan Hartley
3. Duncan Bell
4. Steve Borthwick ©
5. Nick Kennedy
6. Tom Croft
7. Lewis Moody
8. Jordan Crane
9. Paul Hodgson
10. Jonny Wilkinson
11. Matt Banahan
12. Shane Geraghty
13. Dan Hipkiss
14. Ugo Monye
15. Ben Foden

16. David Barnes
17. David Wilson
18. Courtney Lawes
19. Louis Deacon
20. Mathew Tait
21. Danny Care
22. Mark Cueto