What have you all been up to? Progressing your careers? Getting married? Having kids?
Nah, me neither. Quiet year really. Hence why I've not been on here supplying you all with fucking hilarious anecdotes and witty repartee.
That was until something magical happened. Something so glorious I couldn't contain myself. I had to log on and type.
That's right my friends, Kurtley Beale. Kurtley-Fucking-Beale.
Wait. Give me a second. Yeah it's still funny.
I don't normally take pride in laughing at people's misfortune. Why?
Because it's usually MY misfortune.
Not this time though.
No, this time others have to suffer the pain of a last minute balls-up. Others have to deal with the embarrassment of leading your school sports-day race only to find your pants have fallen down, tripped you up and left you sprawled on the ground with a grass-burn on your genitals.
There is a great Ian McGeechan quote from the 1997 Lions tour in South Africa.
"When an animal is wounded, it returns in frenzy. It doesn't think. It fights for its very existence."
Now, that may be true. But when the animal in question looks like a startled pug, I don't think we've got all that much to worry about.
Bring on the second test.
Oh, and Kurtley, clean your boots, son.
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