I’ve finally re-emerged after what has been one of the worst Autumns I can ever remember. Never before have I been so angry with an England performance that I’ve wanted to rip out my eye-balls and replace them with the testicles from a leprous baboon. But there were moments over the last 3 weeks when I was seriously tempted.
“Oh but we did so much better against New Zealand, we showed real spirit”
Fuck off. We lost. And we lost comfortably to a shit New Zealand team with Dan Carter kicking like my dead gran. But more on my England theories later.
In order to cheer everyone up I thought it would be a great time for round two of the Eyes Right, Bollocks Tight Cheerleader of the Month competition. Woo hoo!
Nominations have been pouring in from all corners of the globe but our expert panel of judges – Mother Palm and her 5 sisters – have whittled the list down to this month’s winner.
Congratulations go to [dramatic drum-roll please]……
Melandi of the Vodacom Cheetahs. Yay.
According to her website profile of this “flip-flopping dancing beauty loves doing things she usually wouldn’t do, because she loves surprising herself”. Ding Dong.
The athlete she admires the most is Lance Armstrong and her hidden talent is that she is flexible – see pic right. She enjoys pornography – oh no, wait, sorry – photography as a hobby and “feels inspired by music, emotion and being an individual”. Bleaughhhh!!!
Commenting on the win Melandi said: “Wow – what an honour. This is just the best. We’ve all been feeling pretty low since the Bokka lost AGAIN last week and this has cheered me up so much. Thanks Mother Rucker – feel free to visit the Cheetah girls anytime you’re in Free State. We’d love to see you.”
You know what, maybe I will.
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