Olympic skin tone

Yesterday, Lord Coe was aboard the Javelin Rocket – or whatever it’s called – blasting towards Stratford at 3,792 mph waxing lyrical to the assembled “dignitaries” on the games, the stadia, the budget and how everything is going swimmingly thank you very much.

Great news. I am a big supporter of the UK hosting the games, always have been. And personally, I think to hell with the cost – IT’S THE OLYMPIC GAMES. We get the opportunity to host the world’s greatest sporting event once in a generation - if we’re lucky - so an opportunity like this MUST be embraced. Two fingers to the naysayers – if I had my way all those opposed to the games would be forced to carry out the duty of filling the swimming pools in the Aquatic Centre using only a tap and a thimble, before being sent to Coventry for the entire month of August 2012 to reflect on what inhibited, miserly, tight arses they’ve been.

But, one thing that struck me yesterday as I leafed through the coverage of London 2012’s 3 year countdown and watched the various news reporters looking distinctly out of place in their bulbous hard hats. How the fuck does Tom Daley get so tanned?

Every time I see the little media tart paraded in front of the press his hue is increasingly dark. OK, OK, I know I shouldn’t be taking the proverbial, he’s just won the World Championships and he’s 7 years old, bully for him. But can someone, somewhere, please explain where this melanin phenomenon has appeared from? From what I can gather, diving is a predominantly indoor sport, particularly when training in the UK. Given the amount of training needed to become a World Champion in any sport, I’d wager that young Tom spends a lot of time indoors. Even if he was training outdoors, he lives in the UK and a tan of that position on the Dulux chart is just impossible to achieve in our temperate climes. His parents – because of course they’re on telly all the time as well – don’t seem to have any major tanning issues so he’s not got any real genetic inclination to bronze. Could it be a bottle job? That is the most likely explanation. But for someone whose career involves plunging into chemical filled water, is this the best option?

I have to admit I’m at a loss, I’ll leave it open to the floor. But, one thing is for sure, if it is the real deal and he carries on at this rate he’s going to be a leathery mess by the time the 2012 arrives, and no-one wants to see that in a pair of Speedos.