An Open Letter to Joost van der Westhuizen

Dear Joost,

I couldn’t stand watching you play. You were the bane of my life. You were the bane of England’s life. Every time you took to the field against my team I knew you would do something to ruin the day. You were faultless in every aspect of the game.

Your balance, vision and guile were peerless. You got under the skin of your opposite man. You were cunning in the extreme. You scored more tries than I care to remember. You were a great ambassador for the game. You were a great captain.

I couldn’t stand watching you play, Joost. And that’s why you are one of the greatest rugby players of all fucking time.

I wish you and your family the best for the coming years.

Kind regards,

M.Rucker

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Degeneration of the motor neurones leads to weakness and wasting of muscles, causing increasing loss of mobility in the limbs, and difficulties with speech, swallowing and breathing.

It is a ruthless disease with no cure and causes untold heartache to the sufferer and their family and friends. The Motor Neurone Disease Association funds and promotes global research into the disease and provides support for people affected by MND. To make donations to the MNDA or MNDA South Africa, please click here or here.

Afternoon Delight

Afternoon campers. I hope you’re well and looking forward to a weekend of dodging the monsoons. I know I am.

As it’s Friday afternoon and you’re probably putting off that important thing you’ve got to do before the weekend until Monday, here is something that will keep you going until 5.30.

It’s been sometime since this high-brow media outlet has had some gratuitous flesh on show so I thought it would be a good idea to catch up with the “fastest-growing pro sports league in the [USA]”. Not my words, the words of NBC Sport’s Rick Chandler. That’s right folks; it’s time to catch up with the Lingerie Football League. Fuck yeah.



Now this isn’t a sport I tend to keep a close eye on – except when alone in a darkened room – so I missed the ’10-’11 campaign. But it looked, to the untrained eye, like an absolute gusset ripper (is that alright to say? Fuck it, I’ve said it now).

The Western Conference champions, Los Angeles Temptation, took on Eastern Conference winners, Philadelphia Passion, in the 2011 Lingerie Bowl and what an encounter it was. Temptation pipped the Passion to the title defeating the ladies from Philly 26-25 in a hard fought battle of flesh on flesh [loosens collar, wipes sweat from brow].


With finals of this calibre it’s amazing that the LFL has not caught on more on these shores. So I appeal to you, men of England, men of Britain. Please, for the love of god, watch more LFL. These girls deserve your appreciation.

Sporting Perfection

Sport is a wonderful, scintillating and inspiring thing. And it’s made even more so when the ‘good guy’ comes up trumps.

In 2006, Darren Clarke not only won the hearts of golf and sports fans; he managed to touch anyone with an ounce of emotion in their body. Just six weeks after the tragic death of his wife Heather, Clarke went out and played in Europe’s Ryder Cup team. He won three out of three points and was crucial in helping Europe secure victory. Clarke was a hero that weekend.

It was no surprise, then, that sport fans everywhere began to stir with excitement when the Ulsterman began to climb the leader board at Royal St Georges this past weekend. I don’t believe there was a single person who watches golf – anywhere in the world – who wasn’t hopeful that he could maintain his lead on the final day. And anyone who doubts the power of positive thought had a case to answer when Clarke bounced out of and over two of the course’s nastiest bunkers during his final round. Luck? Maybe. But I like to think that the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of fans around the world willing the ball to find the fairway had something to do with it.

Clarke finished the competition three shots clear and sealed his place in the hearts of the UK, golf fans world-wide and Northern Irish folklore. Darren Clarke, you are the classiest of acts and an inspiration to all. I tip my cap sir.

David Haye's £15m Rip Off

I'm not sure what's worse. The fact that David Haye ripped off the British public on Saturday night, or the fact that we fell for his bollocks in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not naive, I understand boxers build up fights to maximise viewing figures and line the pockets of themselves, the sponsors and TV rights holders. But in my mind, what took place on Saturday night was a clear example of a professional sportsman pulling the wool over the public's eyes and the “Hayemaker” walked away with a cool £15m for his trouble.

Haye blamed his woeful and quite frankly embarrassing performance on a broken toe. Well I'm sorry Mr Haye that’s just not fucking good enough.

Less than a week before the fight Haye told the world "I am in peak condition, really good shape. I look in the mirror and my body is unrecognisable to what it was six months ago"

In that case David Haye – you’re a fucking liar. People handed over their hard-earned money to watch you fight because they believed you were at the top of your game but, as you put it in the post fight press conference, "[My broken toe] didn't allow me to open up and throw big, powerful punches…I wasn't able to explode off my leg”

The viewing figures for the fight haven’t been released yet but however many poor bastards stumped up the £15 to watch the debacle – let alone the countless thousands who bet on the fight – they should all get their money back.

Haye went into the fight knowing he couldn’t deliver what he promised but didn’t want to pull out and “disappoint the fans”. In going ahead he not only disappointed his fans, but he very probably lost a sizable proportion of them.

On the HBO promotional material for the fight the tag-line exclaimed "The Talk Ends Now". For David Haye, who after the clash still believed the bout had put “heavyweight boxing back on the map” the talk really should end now.

If he decides to continue he should keep his trap shut and let his boxing do the talking. That’s the only way he has any chance of winning back some of the respect he lost on Saturday along with his WBA heavyweight title.